Does gettin’ Mo’ Betta, in and of itself, satisfy you? Is achieving “success” for yourself—or even your loved ones—mean you’ve reached your destination and you can finally relax and enjoy the fruits of your labor? Or do you find yourself asking, as Peggy Lee sang back in 1969, “Is that all there is?!”
As you probably guessed, those are leading questions. We don’t think you’re still on our web site reading because you’re a person who would answer “yes” to those questions. Here at Mo’ Betta Life, our whole approach is based on the premise that just striving for or achieving Mo’ Betta for ourselves isn’t enough. We’re saying that personal growth is a social responsibility—that is, we are obligated to improve ourselves in order to be in the best position to assist others and contribute to our communities (and the whole human family!). Remember that old analogy: in an airplane emergency, put the oxygen mask on yourself first BEFORE you put one on a child or person who cannot do it themselves. If you don’t, you are not fully capable of saving them/assisting others, and you could both perish, or applied more generally, you both suffer.
Therefore, in order to make a difference that makes a difference in the world, we must continually work to improve mentally, physically, socially, and spiritually. We all need to identify and enhance our strengths as well as prevent our more challenging areas from holding us back or weakening our impact.
And vice versa: we believe Mo’ Betta just to feed our egos or bank accounts will leave us feeling empty…unless we are self-centered or narcissistic people, of course. (And we think you would have left Mo’ Betta Life.com already if that was true in your case!) Buddhist master, Lama Surya Das, emphasizes an engaged, helpful life is a core teaching of the Buddha, that a vision of a life committed to altruism and helping others in any way that we can is what Buddha himself called his “one teaching.” Of course, others have tried to get this side of the story across, often quite forcefully!:
If you are deaf, dumb, and blind to what’s happening in the world, you’re under no obligation to do anything. But if you know what’s happening and you don’t do anything but sit on your ass, then you’re nothing but a punk. (Assata Shakur)
You can hold yourself back from the sufferings of the world, that is something you are free to do and it accords with your nature, but perhaps this very holding back is the one suffering you could avoid.
In 1998, when I had to decide on a doctoral internship, a classmate kept trying to convince me to go to one of the biggest HR consulting firms in the world (a kind of firm that epitomizes the I/O, corporate-whore wing of psychology). I first said, “forget it–what do I know about that?! And besides, theyre helping large corporations do what they do better, right?!” He kept on me and one day I let my guard down for some reason and my curiosity and interest was stimulated. I did the interview with his supervisor and I knew they would offer me an internship (even though I didn’t attend an I/O training program etc.). The decision was killing me—I was both anxious and excited at the same time.
Then, the last week before “Match Day,” I had the exact same dream two nights in a row: I was in a house or small building with a bunch of people. They were very frightened because a pack of wolves was surrounding the house, pacing and looking for an opening to get in. For some reason, I wasn’t afraid. The leader of the wolf pack came to the door (which suddenly opened!) and entered. The wolf just stared at me. Our lips didn’t move, but we communicated. He nodded his head and left and everyone was safe. Then I woke up feeling a little relieved yet calm.
The next night after I had that dream, I figured it might be important. I looked up the wolf in a deck of Native American animal cards (apparently used like Tarot cards) that someone had given me years before.* Among other things, the wolf was said to go out and then “bring medicine back to the tribe.” I thought: Bring medicine back to what tribe?! Then it hit me: I needed to go to the “Evil Empire” of Psychology and learn what I could that could be brought back to…actually, I didnt quite know who I’d be bringing it back to yet. At any rate, the internship turned out to be extremely anxiety producing and one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I didn’t really belong and they eventually figured that out (although they had no complaints about my work except that I didn’t do enough of it (i.e., work 50 to 60 hrs. a week!) and wasn’t self-promoting enough etc. Luckily, I worked under an amazing mentor who focused on the public sector and I was given some pro bono work to do for a non-profit that had asked for help. Bingo!
That began a short side career working with non-profits doing coaching and consulting. I did it pro bono, but it was very rewarding to help organizations with missions I completely supported.
This story has framed my professional life every since, and it’s now the cornerstone of our mission at Mo’ Betta Life.com.
We need YOU!
A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle. (James Keller)
We want to pass on the “medicine” we’ve been blessed with over the years so you can get Mo’ Betta. But, as you’re probably realizing by now, that’s not the end of it. We want to help you bring back the medicine to your tribe and the Mo’ Betta Life.com tribe right here! We all need you!
What do we mean by that—that “we all need you”?!
I make home visits and I once worked with a client who was quite disabled and unable to leave her home very often due to both medical and mental health reasons. She felt ashamed and discouraged she could not make a contribution to the lives of others because this was a very strong value of hers. I was very moved by her sincerity and pain and, at first, didn’t know to respond to her. Luckily, I soon came across a spiritual teacher and healer who said that, as long as she had love in her heart and the intention to help, that was actually making a difference in the world and contributing to the greater good, even if she couldn’t often directly interact with people or witness the results of her efforts. I suggested she meditate or pray with her intention and send out positive support and love on a daily basis. This contributed to her growth and healing and she eventually was able to go out into the community on a regular basis and she now does some amazing work!
So we all need you, too! No matter how little energy or power you think you have to help, your intention and willingness to try to help makes a difference! Here at Mo’ Betta Life.com, we need your help to create a community of like-minded souls who believe this is true and are doing what they can to improve their lives and the lives of others. People who realize that learning and changing is required to make the biggest impact on others. People who realize that making a positive impact on others will actually help their own personal mission to change and grow and get Mo’ Betta!
So, we believe people need a Life Compass that will get them where they actually want to go…and also help bring the tribe along with them. Unfortunately, most self-help gurus offer Life Maps. It’s true that a good map will get you to your destination, but it will not help you decide on a destination. It won’t help you decide what destination makes the most sense for you and makes the most sense for others and the world we live in TODAY. Without this kind of assistance, those maps will likely have you taking unnecessary detours. We’ve been studying maps for many years and we know some good ones, but we define Mo’ Betta Life.com as a compass, assisting you to see if you (and we) are on the right track. Mo’ Betta Life.com is what we’ve created from all we’ve learned….Actually, it’s what we’re STILL CREATING from it all. (Would you like to help us keep making it better?!)
Let us conclude with some specific beliefs we hold that form aspects of that Mo’ Betta Life compass to help you decide if you’d like to join us.
- People are tired of being judged (or judging themselves) as defective. People looking for help who no longer want to be seen as helpless. Most people admit there are things they need to learn from others, but are tired of helpers who don’t listen to them or trust their resourcefulness. They want help and advice and also want to share their wisdom and experience to help others.
- People are disempowered when given jobs and tasks that do not allow them to put their own stamp on the result. In the way our economy is structured, people become cynical (as workers in the old Soviet Union used to say, “We pretend to work and they pretend to pay us.”). We believe the super-wealthy ruling class is invested in preventing the outcomes we seek such as peace, social justice, and economic and climate stability for everyone.
- People—especially young people—are rejecting the mainstream norms of identity and behavior so they can stay sane in an insane world, a world that makes little sense; but the price of this sort of sanity is still too high. People stripped of power will look for and find ways to fight back through either withdrawing or resisting. Powerless people will often be violent toward themselves or others…or both. Cultural, racial, ethnic, religious, class, and gender boundaries must be crossed and divisions healed to bring justice and peace and fulfill human potential.
- People have been seduced by our larger culture, a global society that attempts to pin us down and make sure we fit into narrow categories. People have rebelled against it or wanted to, but keep wondering if they’re wrong to do so. We’ve wondered if our rebellion—our defiance—is the reason we feel so bad…or guilty…or confused. (At Mo’BettaLife.com, we believe it should help us feel inspired and empowered, instead!) Eventually, the powers-that-be don’t need to do anything or say anything: we discover we started disempowering ourselves.
- People need a place that protects their authenticity and story and/or helps to re-author their disempowered story. A place to protect against invisibility, apathy, and mediocrity.
- People need a place where they can feel at home; they want to belong to a community and also stand out as a unique, irreplaceable voice. A place where they belong and don’t have to apologize for who they are anymore. A place where, instead of having to conform to what people expect, what the past predicts they’ll do or who’ll they’ll be, they can be free. Free to explore. Free to experiment. Free to make mistakes. (And learn from them.) People know they will make mistakes but are looking for a place where they are expected to make them—where they can explore and experiment.
- People who will feel at home here are tired of family, friends, and professionals who see them as victims and weak and different. They’re tired of not being asked about how they’re strong. Tired of just being asked about problems and what went wrong and not being asked about what sorts of things make them lose track of time and enter “the Zone” or “Flow.”
- People are looking for inspiration and also want to be seen as inspiring. We believe that we can only do well at Mo’ Betta Life if we help you do mo’ betta; that “profit” is not just more money or visitors. We do this because it helps us live better lives. We want people here who feel the same way, who want to help and inspire others as well as get help and inspiration.
- People need a place that helps take things that don’t seem to be related and find a way they make sense together. People need help to understand that access to unlimited information via the internet is not enough: we must have an understanding of how knowledge fits into what is happening in our lives and in the world right now. This creates passion for using education and resources to make a difference.
As we keep traveling in the right direction and we begin to find the “patterns that connect” and connect with each other, we can reduce our discouragement, despair, depression, and anxiety and increase our enthusiasm and confidence. In fact, we believe enthusiasm will bring us confidence even when we start with fear and self-doubt. That when we’re excited we can do things that are also scary!
Please join us! Like we said: we need you!
*Please note that I am not an indigenous person and I do not mean any disrespect to the Native American community/American Indian tribes. I realize someone might wonder if I was trying to “play Indian” or claim some kind of legitimacy because I randomly used those cards. I learned years ago that the indigenous people of North, Central, and South America have the right to judge how their traditions are utilized, and I would not dispute that my use of the cards was not necessarily in line with tradition or that it was an example of a clumsy white guy trying to find an answer in the wrong places. I am merely telling a true story that forms a metaphor for our purpose and mission here at Mo’BettaLife.com. I apologize if anyone is offended.
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